Tuesday, January 13, 2009

beauty is a state of mine

I have terribly dry hair...anything you can suggest?

Olive oil. 1-2 teaspoons. massage it in. Your hair will want to absorb it like a sponge. let it. and the add more.

I over plucked my brows?

Use a eye brow pencil that is a little lighter than your original brow color, blend it in the arch you jacked up. Make sure they are even before lightly adding a light shimmer powder under neath them.you can do the same thing if you accidentally plucked a chunk out of your brow.

tip: When in doubt always try and blend the mistake away.

Quick fix my pimple Misses.

ooo. a demand, mama like.

To extract a pimple and make that bi-a-tch come to a head:

*Use the skin inside an egg to mask that sucker for half an hour.

*Put a sliced potatoe on that mama jama for a minutes.

*Crushed up an aspirin, and dab it on that monster.

Try an all natural (cheap) scrub made from lovely shozen in your cupboards and fridge:

*make a scrub using your favorite face wash by adding cornmeal or sugar

hope some of these remedies whip your mug into shape.

my boyfriend and I want to dress him up in drag for fun an frequent our favorite drag club. What should he wear? Make up tips? It's his first time dressing up in drag, we want him to look skanky.

congrats to you and your boyfriend on your super-free, open minded relationship. That being said, here are my skantastic tips for your man:

Nothing say horror like a extremely short red dress with your man's balls hanging out. just kidding. i meant to spell horror, whore. so short red dress/skirt, preferably with sparkles on it, black lace panties or thong, of course, if you want to strap his sausage and dog balls down that is up to you, any size high-high 'i'll fuck the crap out of you' heels you can find to feet his big ol' feet, make sure the heels are high-high how else will he learn to walk in them if they aren't hard to walk in, blue-slut eyeshadow, black eyeliner, false lashes, too much pink blush, too much red lipstick...and a marilyn mole. oh and some sort of fake fur, or thrift shop, vintage fur...the fur will make him full worthy. oh and a clutch bag with an african mandingo dildo inside, you know just as a gag. get it? that was a joke. no drag costume is equipped with this, make sure he has make-up so he can re-apply in his clutch as well.

hope you dress in drag too lady, a la kim basinger in 9 1/2 weeks: fake hitler 'stache, chaplin hat, groucho marx tux. have fun!

tip: the couple that dresses in drag together stays together.


No comments:

Post a Comment

give me a Q. i'll give you an A.